(deadpool) » to run out of steam

» 045; so I tell myself to be strong

In the short time I've been employed, I've grown to be very thankful for having been chosen among the many applicants for the job. The other trainees and I are constantly reminded that the company has a tough screening process so being there now is quite an achievement. They have a firm belief that hiring the wrong person could cost them big time and even after that person separates from them, a scar of their presence will remain, and they don't want that. They hired us because they didn't feel that way about the four of us.

I always try to keep that in mind because damn, who would've thought? This is my first real job and I landed myself doing something that I truly enjoy, something that I see myself being a part of for a long, long time. It's really a dream come true.

There's just so many things about that place that make me appreciate them more each day. The atmosphere is lax but disciplined, the other employees are dedicated to their craft, and those who are higher up are down to earth. It's not something you hear or see everyday.

I was only supposed to be there for a month but in the almost three weeks I've been around, I've been reassured that they will be keeping me on, and despite the jokes from the team I work with, they don't seem to want to let me go either. While I have never really been one to need the validation of others to be happy about myself, hearing they wanted me to stay made me feel good. What I've contributed in my work and in my interests have made an impression on them somehow and the feeling is just amazing.

There's really no putting how I feel about the company into words because... I'll probably end up going on forever. All I can hope for now is that things do work out because I do not want to leave. Not at all.

I'm happy there.

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(deadpool) » to run out of steam

» 044; to keep my heart beating

"Fight or flight may be a primitive neurological response but that doesn't mean that these are bad options. Sometimes fighting for what we want is the right thing to do. Though often what we are fighting is our own fear; fear of getting hurt or making the same mistakes all over again. But sometimes the wisest thing is to get the hell out of Dodge. Go off own our own. That can be a little scary, not just for us but also for the people we leave behind because odds are they're just not going to understand.

Every now and then, we need to break with the past. Take a leap into uncharted territory. But even if we choose to fly away, well, that doesn't mean that we're never coming back, does it?"

-Daniel Pierce, Perception

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(deadpool) » to run out of steam

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(deadpool) » to run out of steam

» 41; we've come too far to give up who we are

A short list of things I want to accomplish in 2014.

[x] Find a full-time job.
[x] Buy a PS3.
[x] Slowly rebuild gaming collection.
[ ] Journal more. (3 times a week minimum)
[ ] Write more.
[ ] Read 12 books. (If 12 is accomplished, aim for 20)
[x] Watch 52 movies I've never watched before.
[ ] Get better at RP or quit.
[ ] Try to adhere to the Happiness Advantage. (See TED Talks: Shawn Achor)

Should there be any more, I'll update this as 2014 progresses.

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(deadpool) » to run out of steam

» 038; where did the party go

At 9am on September 8, 2013, my family lost our house to a fire.

Yes, that is what caused my sudden disappearance for the last month. It wasn't because of some rash decision to get away from the internet, nor was it because I needed a break from everything. It was because of a tragedy that had taken us all by surprise.

First things first, my entire family is all right and so is our maid and our dogs. Everyone got out of the house before the fire or smoke trapped us in and there were no major injuries sustained from the fire. All our belongings, however, literally went up in smoke.

Collapse )

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(deadpool) » to run out of steam

» 037; looks at the rain as it pours

"Freud once said, 'No mortal can keep a secret. His lips are silent but he chatters with his fingertips. Betrayal oozes out of every pore.' I think old Sigmund might have been on to something. Although we may be desperate to keep our secrets, the harder we bury them, the more they rise up to the surface. We are neurologically compelled to confess.

And that's a good thing. Because confession is good for the body, for the brain. Might even be good for the soul if you believe in that sort of thing."

-Daniel Pierce, Perception

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(deadpool) » to run out of steam

» 035; pick yourself up off of the floor

"What if I told all of you that you're partially blind? That right now you think you're seeing the world as it truly is but in actuality, you're missing something. It's true. See, every time we open our eyes, light shines onto our retina. Nerve cells called photo receptors interpret the light and transmits the information to our brain, and that's how we see. But there's a small area on our retina where there are no photo receptors. This is called a scotoma — or blind spot. We all have one.

So if that's true, how is it that we never notice a black area in our field of vision?

The reason you never notice your blind spot is because your brain is great at guessing what should be there and automatically filling in the blank. Sometimes, we know what we want to see, and our neocortex turns that expectation into a kind of virtual reality. Which means that some of the world we see is just an illusion. A scary thought if you consider how vulnerable that makes us.

So how do we uncover our blind spots? How do we ever fully see the truth that right in front of our eyes? Well, a good place to start is to simply open your mind, because as the French philosopher Henri Bergson says, 'The eyes only see what the mind is prepared to comprehend.'"

-Max Lewicki, Perception

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(deadpool) » to run out of steam

» 030; for the person I've become

It never stops getting frustrating having to deal with parents who "want you to be independent". Quotation marks because that's really all it is. Something that they say but never really mean. Time and time again, they've told me that they want me to become more independent, that I'm old enough to make my own decisions. Thing is, I never feel that way because I'm seldom given an actual choice.

Take for example, this stupid summer class. They told me in the beginning that hey, we'll let you take the class but you have to be the one to discipline yourself. And I really was planning to. Only to find out that they were taking away my PS3, TV and internet privileges. And that's just the most recent incident that I could think of. Don't doubt for a second that there hasn't been more.

I'm twenty freaking four, parents. I may still be living under your roof but, dear god, please stop treating me like I'm twelve. It's not funny.

It would be nice to actually have a choice for once.

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